In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe - C.158:
The rules were simple.
Pick up a snack bag, open the packaging, and if you could eat without exceeding 70 decibels, you succeeded.
That was the plan.
Woojoo envisioned promoting their new song and returning to the dorm with his brothers in high spirits after that. 𝑓𝓇𝑒𝑒𝘸𝑒𝑏𝑛𝘰𝑣𝑒𝘭.𝒸𝘰𝘮
But as the practice game began, such thoughts vanished.
Was it because Junghyun’s ‘ASMR’ echoed in his ears like a spell?
Just looking at each other’s faces made them laugh.
“Pfft-!”
There were times like that.
When you were determined not to laugh, strangely, everything you saw afterward made you laugh.
Woojoo held back his laughter at the sight of the youngest’s twitching nose.
Hold it in.
Just hold it in tight.
But despite his resolve, he couldn’t help but laugh at Rihyuk wrestling with a snack bag.
Rihyuk was gripping the edges with his fingers.
Thump, thump, thump.
As sweat trickled down his face and his hands trembled, they all held their breath, watching the decibel meter.
Snap!
The bag burst open, scattering crumbs everywhere.
“…”
Rihyuk’s face was covered in crumbs, and they burst into laughter at his appearance, like he’d set off a flour bomb.
“Pfft!”
“Ah… seriously, don’t laugh! It’s embarrassing!”
“Ha ha ha!”
Every time they played the practice game, someone inevitably laughed.
The two MCs commented like sports announcers.
“Ah, this isn’t easy.”
“They’re about to burst into laughter at the sight of a passing flower. Can New Black really succeed like this…?”
“We never expected such difficulties from the practice game.”
“It’s a pity. If they succeed in the game, New Black can promote their new song.”
…Why are you laughing while saying it’s a pity, sunbae-nims?
They sighed among ourselves.
“Let’s do this right. We have to promote our new song.”
“You’re the problem. You!” Rihyuk said, his face red with frustration. “I keep laughing because you’ve been breathing heavily next to me.”
“Rihyuk. That’s your fault. No matter how I breathe, you have to hold back your laughter. Promoting our new song is important. You need perseverance.”
“Hm?”
Junghyun tilted his head and asked, “Hyung, didn’t you just laugh at Bijoo?”
“…”
Woojoo couldn’t help it.
How could he not laugh when Bijoo seriously bit into a snack, clenching his fists as if saying, ‘You must melt it in your mouth!’?
Bijoo, brushing off the crumbs from his mouth, asked, “Hyung, did you laugh at me?”
“I guess I just can’t help but laugh when I see you.”
“…Really?”
Seeing his bright smile made Woojoo feel guilty, but he couldn’t tell him, ‘You were just too funny a moment ago.’
Woojoo coughed to change the subject.
“Now’s not the time to argue about who’s responsible.”
“Right.”
The youngest and Woojoo, who had laughed the most during the practice game, said that, and the other members half-opened their eyes.
Woojoo said, “Now it’s the real game, and it’s important to stay quiet. Let’s all work together to earn the promotion for our new song.”
“Right. Let’s give it our all.”
Bijoo reached out his hand, and they all cheered together.
While they were strategizing, the two MCs perked up their ears and laughed among themselves, finding them cute.
“Oh my, they’re adorable.”
“They remind me of us at that age, Noona.”
“Right? We were quite cute.”
“…?”
Then their eyes met again.
Just like the first time, they burst into laughter, like startled pheasants and sparrows in season 2.
The pheasants with the cue cards fanned themselves and said, “Hem hem, if the strategy meeting is over, let’s move on to the main game!”
“Yes. That’s right. The practice games so far were just child’s play.”
Wait a minute.
…What else was there?
The production team immediately offered a basket of props.
Looking at the old-fashioned glasses and historical drama beards, they asked with bewildered faces, “What’s this?”
“Ah. It seemed too easy, so we prepared these props in advance. It’d be a waste not to use them, so we decided to go ahead.”
“Really?”
Their practice game was already challenging enough.
“But as compensation, we’ll give you more chances. We’ll increase your attempts from three to five, and you can choose any prop you like.”
After some thought, they accepted.
They quickly picked out props from the basket.
Woojoo grabbed Junghyun’s hand as he reached for a Santa beard.
“Junghyun.”
“…Yes?”
“If you wear that, I’ll die laughing.”
“Hmm. How about this one?”
“Pfft-!”
Woojoo burst into laughter at the sight of Junghyun trying on the historical beard. It just didn’t suit him.
In the end, he chose the cutest one for him.
“Junghyun. How about this? It suits you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah! Wow, our Junghyun looks so good with goblin horns. It’s like a goblin come to life. Right, Jiho?”
“Exactly. Like a handsome corn chip.”
Junghyun, with goblin horns shaped like a corn chip on his head, fiddled with the chin strap, pleased.
Okay. That was one down.
The youngest looked at Woojoo with a headband on.
“How do I look, Hyung? Like Rudolph?”
“You look like you’d pull a sleigh well. Even the horns are as cool as velvet antlers.”
“Wow.”
The youngest, wearing a reindeer antler headband, danced a cheerful shoulder dance. Watching him, Woojoo reached into the basket too.
“Then I’ll take this…”
The kids flinched.
“This seems okay…”
Shake of the head.
“No?”
Nod of the head.
Woojoo aimed for a pink rabbit hat, but every time he reached for it, the younger ones made a ‘maybe not’ face.
Eventually, Woojoo gave up and chose a beauty mark instead.
Like the protagonist of a drama that Mrs. Kim Deoksoon enjoyed, he stuck a dot under his eye.
Bijoo, wearing scuba goggles, clapped his hands in approval.
Soon, Rihyuk also put on a devil horn headband, and they looked at each other with determined faces.
After staring at each other for three seconds with firm resolve.
“Pfft-!”
…Even though they hadn’t started yet, Woojoo had a feeling they were doomed.
Fortunately, as they entered the main game, they took on the challenge seriously.
Laughing was one thing, but work was work.
However, succeeding was really difficult.
On the first attempt, the youngest rustled the snack bag and exceeded 70 decibels.
On the second attempt, Bijoo tore open a snack bag, and a ‘zzzip-’ sound made them exceed 70 decibels again.
“Then let’s try for the third attempt!”
After several practice games, they devised a kind of strategy.
If they all picked up snacks or opened bags together, the noise would be louder, so they decided to take turns.
For that reason, Woojoo stepped up as the first challenger.
Woojoo carefully spread his thumb and forefinger to pick up the edge of the plastic bag and lifted it.
Tock.
The snack bag brushed against the basket, and the younger ones held their breath.
The decibel meter right in front of the bag momentarily changed color as the needle shot up and then down.
‘Fighting-’
‘Let’s succeed this time-’
‘Do it gently, you guys-’
The staff and MCs watching them covered their mouths or twitched their cheeks at what seemed like encouragement from tiny bacteria.
Woojoo took a deep breath and tore open the snack bag. It was a movement he had mastered after several tries.
It was truly a realm of silence, without a single sound.
He successfully completed the silent mukbang below 70 decibels.
As he nodded, four members gave a thumbs-up as if riding a wave in celebration.
“…”
Then Rihyuk stepped up with a tense face.
His fingers trembled as he opened the bag, causing a slight unease, but he soon managed to succeed smoothly.
The thumbs-up ritual continued.
The third runner was Junghyun.
A person of interest, with large movements and fluctuating decibels with each breath.
Woojoo showed his fist and whispered, “Go, Junghyunmon.”
The bear with its front paws raised responded immediately.
“Junghyunmon, deploy.”
Bijoo almost laughed, but the youngest next to him quickly covered his mouth.
Ignoring Rihyuk’s reproachful look, Woojoo cheered for Junghyun as if to wish him well.
Soon, Junghyun reached out towards the basket of snacks and picked one.
Okay.
Pleased with his success, Woojoo soon realized there was a problem.
Whether it was the glue that was wrong or the snack bags stuck together like Vienna sausages, they came out together.
Thump.
As the snacks fell into the bag, one dropped and fell to the floor…
“…!”
Fortunately, it dangled precariously off the edge of the basket.
A critical moment.
Woojoo realized.
The moment it fell, it was over.
Junghyun, with goblin horns, stood up from his seat and approached the basket.
“…!”
Woojoo was in a hurry.
They crossed their hands to form an X or waved them down, whispering urgently.
“No! No!”
“Stop! Stop!”
“Don’t!”
In their haste, alien languages were blurted out.
Like someone drawing SOS in the sand towards a plane on a deserted island, their signal told Junghyun to do absolutely nothing, and he froze, bent over.
Pause.
He turned his head.
“What should I do?” his eyes asked.
While this was happening, Bijoo approached with baby steps to fix the situation, reaching for the dangling snack.
Jiho quickly gestured for Junghyun to return to his seat, but Woojoo, on the contrary, dissuaded him.
“No!”
“Huh?”
Amidst their conflicting opinions, Junghyun hesitated, unsure whether to go or not, and twitched.
Then…
Pop.
The snack fell.
Everyone held their breath, but fortunately, the sound of the snack hitting the floor barely exceeded 60 decibels before fading away.
Just when they thought they were lucky,
Junghyun, relieved, stepped backward and stepped on the fallen snack.
Crunch.
And then he lost his balance…
“Whoa.”
He slipped, but as he fell, he caught his balance and landed on his arse in the basket.
He was holding on to the floor with one arm and it was like watching a scene from The Matrix.
‘……!
Rihyeok gagged at the sight of the top bag of snacks touching Junghyun's trousers, saying he couldn't eat that.
‘…….'
Everyone, including the staff behind the camera, looked on in disbelief.
It was so silent you could hear ants scurrying past.
Soon, Junghyun's arm fumbled for his balance and he pulled himself up.
As the basket rose, so did he.
“…Gasp!”
A face of tranquility.
Yet, with a basket clinging to his backside, he resembled an ant standing upright.
No, not an ant.
What then?
Horns sprouting from his head like a goblin’s.
Arms stretched out for balance, and the oddly fitting brown basket, along with today’s outfit.
That dignified appearance… what could it be?
It was hard to describe as merely an ant.
The moment he saw that stately stance, Rihyuk murmured with a face drained of color.
“…A rhinoceros beetle?”
At the same time, a burst of laughter spilled from behind the camera.
“Pfft!”
The staff, unable to hold back their laughter, were the first to break into giggles.
***
Though they failed on their third attempt, they ultimately received a successful verdict from the production team.
“I have to admit, that was impressive,” they conceded.
Time was running short for the recording of the broadcast.
Above all, it seemed the production team had been willing to give them a chance from the start.
Even if they failed, there was always the ‘three-line acrostic poem’ chance!
With all the props cleared away, they returned to the police station, their appearances fresh and crisp.
“Pfft!” They couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the sight of Junghyun’s face.
“Now, looking at Junghyun’s face is enough to make me laugh.”
“You finally understand how we feel, Sunbae-nim.”
“Yes… Haha. I fully understand now. At first, I wondered why everyone laughed just by looking at Junghyun’s face.”
The dignified image of a rhinoceros beetle remained etched in everyone’s minds.
Even among the production crew, there were those who couldn’t help but let out silly laughs.
Producer Ko, too, had exclaimed in excitement earlier, “That guy… he must have the god of variety shows on his side!”
They managed to extract a substantial amount of content, enough to elicit such enthusiastic responses.
“Sigh…”
Why did he keep sighing?
He couldn’t quite pinpoint this subtle sense of emptiness.
Where exactly was their image heading?
Although Woojoo was smiling with a variety-show grin on the outside, he felt somewhat hollow inside.
Bukbuk spoke up.
“So, shall we go ahead and promote the new song as promised?”
“Yes! We’ll show you our Masquerade!”
While the two MCs stepped aside, the five of them formed their positions on stage.
Without any particular order, they casually surveyed the area within the police station that they could use and closed the gaps between them.
After making a decision, Woojoo asked the person in charge of the performance, “Should we reduce it by two steps, Bijoo?”
“Hmm… I think we need to tighten it up a bit more. Hyung, about three steps.”
“Okay, let’s go with that.”
Due to the limited space, it was tricky to fully display the Masquerade choreography, which was meant to bloom like a flower.
After aligning the first move as a demonstration, they all nodded in agreement.
“We’re ready!”
“Alright, let’s enjoy the highlight part of Masquerade!”
The booming speakers played the highlight part of the song. They quickly adapted to the changed spacing and presented their performance.
It was brief, but after the intense choreography, a single drop of sweat formed.
As they stood in their final formation and gazed intently at the camera, the two MCs clapped and laughed.
“Wow! That was so cool! I thought you were someone else!”
“But you finished it off stylishly. Our New Black!”
“Thank you for seeing us in a good light.”
They bowed their heads to the teasing seniors.
As the broadcast was coming to an end, they were asked to leave a comment for the viewers, so he stepped forward as the representative.
“Dear viewers! I really want to thank you for enjoying the show. We still have a lot to improve, but I hope you’ll continue to view us favorably.”
Woojoo continued with a smile.
“And don’t forget about our Soufflés!”
Behind him, his younger members were waving their hands, drawing hearts in the air, and dancing shoulder moves. Woojoo turned back for a moment and laughed.
“I’m not sure if you’ll still like us after seeing such embarrassing antics… Yes, we’re grateful if you still find us endearing despite this. Just so you know, we don’t usually do this, okay? It’s just the excitement of variety shows.”
“Right. That’s how it is.”
“And since this is the first recording after we won first place on the music broadcast, I have something to say.”
Woojoo wanted to say this.
“We’re newcomers. We’re very hungry. So we’ll eat heartily and strive even harder to rise up! Please watch over us!”
“Please watch over us-!”
“And one more thing.”
Woojoo looked into the camera with a serious face and then parted his lips.
“Forget about today’s broadcast…”
His voice trailed off as he gazed into the void, and the people on set burst into genuine laughter.
“Good work!”
“Thank you for your hard work!”
New Black greeted the staff who were cleaning up the set as they left the studio.
The managers were chatting with the PD, and they went down to the first floor to breathe in the outside air.
For about five seconds.
Then, a whooshing winter wind made everyone exclaim “It’s cold!” and scurry back inside.
“Sigh…”
As they looked outside, now bright with midday, white breaths streamed from everyone’s mouths.
It was a sigh.
Rihyuk said, “What on earth did we do today…”
“I wonder. We ran around so energetically, but all that’s left is this wounded feeling.”
“Still, our fans will love watching it.”
“…Will they?”
They looked at each other and laughed hollowly, gazing blankly at the sky. Bijoo tried to lift the mood.
“Well, at least morning recordings are good for this. Even after we finish, it’s still daytime.”
“Yeah. It feels like we’ve made good use of the day.”
“And we’ve made new connections too.”
Perhaps they liked our all-out performance as first-time guests, because the MCs came over and gave them their phone numbers.
‘Contact us if you’re bored. We’ll treat you to a meal,’ they said.
The youngest member said with a contented smile, “Now we have the phone numbers of seniors Seri and Bukbuk in our contacts.”
“…So what? Today we all created dark histories.”
Rihyuk started to say something but stopped.
The one who sent a warning to the cat.
The one whose lie detector broke despite being honest.
The one who was sad for not knowing the new slang.
The one who will soon hear from school friends, ‘Are you in your growth spurt, Wang Jiho? Hahaha!’
And the rhinoceros beetle.
…The last one was the most powerful, but their rapper just stood there, hands in his hoodie pockets, smiling peacefully.
Dark history was only dark history if you thought it was.
But for Junghyun, shame didn’t exist.
His mobile game ID with Jiho was probably ‘Daegil’s friend.’
They whispered among ourselves, watching a naturalist waving at magpies perched on the roadside trees from a distance.
Woojoo said, “Rhinoceros beetles must be happy.”
“I want to live my way like that too.”
“Don’t worry. You’re already on that path, Rihyuk.”
“…Be quiet. Seriously.”
They were chatting and waiting for the managers when Woojoo’s phone vibrated.
“Who is it?”
“Our manager.”
It was a manager, but not just any manager—it was their director.
There was a file sent via messenger.
[Attachment] TBC_Year-End Music Festival_Newcomer_Joint Performance_Outline
The kids crowded around Woojoo.
“What is it?”
“Seokhwan Hyung sent it. Looks like our joint performance for the year-end music festival is finally fixed.”
“Oh, a joint stage?”
“Who is it? Who are we performing with?”
“Just a moment.”
They opened the downloaded file and blinked at a name they hadn’t seen in a while.
They thought it might be a mixed-gender newcomer stage like HBS.
They blinked at the name written in the attached file.
“…Street Boys?”
They were the rival group we had been competing with since last year’s year-end evaluation.