* * *
In truth, Violet had not taken her previous fall into the lake seriously.
One might think it careless not to take a near-death experience seriously, but she thought it was fine since she hadnāt died.
The last time she fell into the water, she didnāt resist on purpose.
She didnāt even try to float to the surfaceāshe just closed her eyes, hoping to sink indefinitely.
But this time was different.
The fear of death overwhelmed her.
She tried to move her arms and legs to swim, but her body wouldnāt respond as she wanted.
She could do nothing. Fear rose from the depths of her emotions, stealing her breath away.
She thought she was okay, but she wasnāt, really.
āā!ā
Someone called out to her desperately.
As she struggled to breathe and her consciousness faded, Violet saw a hand reaching out to her.
.
.
.
When Violet regained consciousness, the first thing she saw was the sun still high in the sky.
It seemed not much time had passed.
As she sat up, she felt the cloth covering her body. Next to the well-kept grass, the azure lake shone as if nothing had happened.
āIām all wet.ā
Violet thought calmly for someone who had nearly died.
The wind felt cold, probably because she was wet.
āAre you awake?ā
As Violet blankly stared into space, a familiar voice came from the side.
Turning her gaze, she saw Rajaden, similarly soaked, chin on one hand while looking at her.
āā¦Iāve called for people to come, theyāll arrive soon. Iām sorry, thatās all I can offer.ā
With that, Violet looked down at herself. A coat was laid over her body.
Such extravagant clothing belonged to few, so it surely was Rajadenās.
āā¦Iām sorry.ā
Looking away from Violet, Rajaden spoke with a voice that seemed to have lost its strength.
āI just wanted to show you the beautiful lakeā¦ There was no other intention.ā
Violet, unsure of what he was saying, briefly met his gaze and sighed softly, āAh.ā
Bringing someone who had already nearly drowned in a lake before was indeed foolish.
āReally, there was no other meaning to it. I just thought it would be nice to look at the lake togetherā¦.ā
āI understand.ā
āā¦ā¦ā šš³āÆāÆšāÆš«šššššµ.š¤š°š¶
At Violetās response, Rajadenās gaze lingered on her before hastily looking away.
Violet responded matter-of-factly, knowing there was no deeper meaning, but his condition seemed anything but simple.
He appeared anxious and downcast, not at all characteristic of a man who had lived believing himself to be above all others.
Was he acting this way out of guilt?
Violet pondered as she observed Rajaden closely.
Shedding his outerwear to reveal just a thin shirt was not a typical appearance for the crown prince.
Exploiting someone elseās guilt would be something she might expect from him, but Rajaden wasnāt the type to harbor guilt himself, This deepened Violetās confusion even further.
Rajaden dropped his head and laughed, a bitter laugh.
āI didnāt mean to mock you.ā
His manner of speaking seemed precarious.
Violet was puzzled by his seemingly guilt-ridden appearance.
āWhy are you saying this to me?ā
It was a truly innocent and naive question without a hint of ulterior motive, and he wished she hadnāt asked.
Rajaden swept his face with his palm at Violetās question, an action unbefitting the arrogant crown prince, causing her eyes to flicker slightly.
āAre you asking because you truly donāt know why?ā
āIf you donāt say it directly, your true feelings wonāt be conveyed.ā
At her response, Rajaden roughly rubbed his face with his hands again.
If his intent was to make someone miserable, Violet had chosen a very effective method.
āā¦Iām sorry.ā
What came out of his mouth was another meager apology.
He had already apologized once and made excuses, but he said it again.
Listening to the crown prince like this, Violet couldnāt help but frown slightly.
The answer she sought wasnāt an apology.
Why was he acting this way. Why was he behaving strangely. What she wanted to know was the reason behind it all.
Violet, who was not the type to presume to understand othersā hearts through conjecture, looked down.
Seeing this, Rajaden grimaced and laughed hollowly.
If he were to express his feelings for her now, the future would predictably be bleak.
It would be no different from sabotaging any chance he might have had.
He was clear about his feelings towards her.
The name this emotion would eventually take was predetermined.
If he confessed his feelings now and was rejected by her, even he couldnāt be sure of what would follow.
Unless he was a fool, he wouldnāt waste the scarce opportunity he had just managed to find.
His already scant score seemed destined to be further reduced.
Rajaden looked back to the moment Violet fell into the lake.
How eternal and terrifying that brief moment felt.
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